self-induced pressure and the struggle of unfulfilled projects

at least a fifty or so "projects" related to chicago history are currently awaiting my attention. the information so greatly deserves to be shared, whether through an image gallery or a lengthier narrative tied to research, and i feel the rapid accumulation of this dead weight on my shoulders every time i open another folder full of images in need of editing.

there is so much happening constantly, and it seems i am inevitably left banging my head against the wall, unable to accomplish everything i aim to. the feeling of overwhelm is most certainly cyclical, but i cannot help experiencing this wave of worry, wondering how best to keep up with and distribute stories to the public and to those with a similar interest or passion for chicago's past - found above and below ground.

several people have sympathized before when i've ranted or channeled my frustration into a blog post, but at the end of the day, the fact remains i feel alone in my ability to keep these projects going. it is sometimes just necessary to vent the frustration into a blog post, and gather a hodgepodge of images to represent the various "projects" which are slowly but surely coming together to make a well-researched and cohesive story. perhaps too, i just want passersby to understand what an enormous amount of time and energy goes into the daily upkeep of this business. i am mostly fueled by a passion for all parts of salvage and storytelling and a concomitant inability to find an "off switch."

quite frankly, there is no benefit to doing this from a "business" sense, but it serves its purpose well as a vehicle for doing what i love the most: researching, documenting, writing, collecting, teaching. that's truly what i live for and if i die from exhaustion or have a nervous breakdown it is in pursuit of those positive activities. on the other hand, i do feel a very real and frightening responsibility to what i'm doing, in that i rarely see others devoted to documenting what is being lost on nearly a daily basis in chicago.

i welcome anyone and everyone to take part, to join me in the trenches when time permits. i can only do so much, despite devoting my whole life to this cause, and there is still too much being lost, trucked off to a landfill, covered over, buried and destroyed. the amount we save versus the amount we lose is catastrophic. with all the technology at our fingertips there is no excuse for not actively creating a record of the changing cityscape, and the disappearance of its past. especially as unprecedented development opens up "portals" or windows to another era, we must take advantage of those opportunities, even where preservation is no longer an option. in my mind, it is about paying tribute to the people and city before us, and passing on the sense of loss to those who will arrive long after we're gone.